X-Men 3

Kelsey Grammer of Fraiser and Vinnie Jones of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels/Snatch have both signed up to play Beast and Juggernaut respectively in the upcoming X-Men 3, Variety reports. I'm speechless.

No, wait, on second thought, HOLY MUTANTS BATMAN! Can you imagine that blue wall that is the Beast quoting Shakespeare in the voice of Frasier? Grammer's got the voice and the personality to carry Beast off, the CG and Costume department folks will take care of the rest. If there ever was an actor who was a shoe in for a character, this is it.

And Vinnie Jones, he of Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels/Snatch fame, he of Wimbledon hatchetman fame back when football paid his salary. He as The Juggernaut, I CANNOT WAIT to hear what lines the writers are going to have him sprout, apart from the fact that he too is a shoe in to play a big, big, huge ass, big badboy that is Juggernaut.

Third time lucky for the X-Men franchise?

Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off.
- Snatch (2000)

Sith Happens

There are few things that I know that I can use to benchmark how much my life has changed in the time I've been here on this pale blue dot. This franchise is one of them. The 1st, nay, the 4th episode was shown sometime around the time when I was still trying to figure out the whole shit-goes-in-the-potty-not-the-floor business, the Revenge of the Sith is scheduled to come out several days after my baby girl who I someday have to teach the whole-shit-goes-in-the-potty-not-the-floor business comes out. Someone up there has a twisted sense of humour.

I have to say I'm not looking forward to this last of the first, Hayden Christensen spent far too much time scowling into the camera and the massacre of that entire tribe of Sand People didn't really jive with my childhood memories of Luke and Leia. In this latest instalment, the turn to the Dark Side is complete and mucho scowling and mayhem is in store for all. I hate it when the good guys get whacked by inside jobs, there's something reprehensible about being taken out by people you trust man. And I especially hate inside jobs that take out Samuel L Jackson and Yoda. Sheeeet, the coolest dude and short fark ever to wield lightsabers done in by some punk just like that.

Spoof of the cinematic trailer, l33t yo.