Saturday 28 May 2005

Recognition

It's 3 in the morning, peaceful night if not for the piercing sound of your cries. I stumble out of bed to check on you after what seems like an eternity of wailing on your part. Mummy's milk is being warmed up after being taken out of the refrigerator but you don't know that and you don't care. You're hungry and you're letting the world know.

So it is with some surprise, although I should know better, that you quieten down immediately when I look in on you, you look at me with what I hope is recognition on your face as I bend down and talk to you, you remain quiet as I pick you up from your cot and sayang you a bit as we wait for your milk. Dang, just like the books say. You may not know who I am but my voice is familiar to you, you know I'm not mummy cos I don't sound or smell the same but I've been around often enough for you to recognize me voice. All too soon your bottle arrives and you are whisked away from my arms, later gorgeous.

Wednesday 25 May 2005

A package from Canada

I received a package from Canada today, it cost something like $18 Canadian in postage. In it there were 2 books on babies and a card for the parents of EJ.

It came from a man I barely knew, with whom I had spent all of maybe 4 hours, we met because of business but parted after sharing our views on Psychology (we both studied it) and bringing up kids. I don't know much about him and I think I probably will never see him again, which just amplifies what he did. Two strangers who might never have met had it not been for a phone call. It warms my heart to know that there are people like him, who will spontaneously do something nice for a fellow human being no strings attached, still out there. This planet might still be worthy of redemption yet.

Thanks Larry, I'll see you around.

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Monday 23 May 2005

Grandparents

I can't remember much of my paternal grandmother. I remember the way she smelt, her typical ah-ma clothes, I remember her when she was sprightly, I remember her when she was frail, I remember her last days, I miss her dearly on the occasions I think about her. It seems I was one of her favourites, the feeling was mutual. She used to admonish people around the house not to speak too loudly when I was sleeping in the days after I was just born. People have told me I was the apple of her eye. It's a pity I couldn't speak Teochew fluently enough to carry on a conversation with her. Our conversations were almost always restricted to the obligatory greeting and "jia ba buey?" (Have you eaten yet?). I remember a time towards the end, when she seemed bitter at the world and people around her, my mum told me to sit with her and keep her company, so there she was, sitting alone with me, telling me things in Teochew that I desperately wanted to understand, I remember the sadness in her eyes. I can't remember what I told her but it probably wasn't something of much help. It's a private moment that's stayed with me all through the years. It pretty much sums up my relationship with her, so close, yet so far.

It is a given that most children have 2 full sets of grandparents when they are born, longer average life spans have made it possible for said grandparents to play a part in shaping the lives of their grandchildren well into their teens, sometimes into adulthood. I'm glad both sets of grandparents are around for EJ, I hope they will be around for EJ's siblings and cousins, I hope they'll be around for a long time. I'd like EJ to meet the people who spent their lives bringing her parents up. I'd like EJ to get to know them real well in the time she has with them for they have much to tell. I'd like her to remember and miss them when they have passed for I surely will.

Saturday 21 May 2005

X-Men 3

Kelsey Grammer of Fraiser and Vinnie Jones of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels/Snatch have both signed up to play Beast and Juggernaut respectively in the upcoming X-Men 3, Variety reports. I'm speechless.

No, wait, on second thought, HOLY MUTANTS BATMAN! Can you imagine that blue wall that is the Beast quoting Shakespeare in the voice of Frasier? Grammer's got the voice and the personality to carry Beast off, the CG and Costume department folks will take care of the rest. If there ever was an actor who was a shoe in for a character, this is it.

And Vinnie Jones, he of Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels/Snatch fame, he of Wimbledon hatchetman fame back when football paid his salary. He as The Juggernaut, I CANNOT WAIT to hear what lines the writers are going to have him sprout, apart from the fact that he too is a shoe in to play a big, big, huge ass, big badboy that is Juggernaut.

Third time lucky for the X-Men franchise?

Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off.

- Snatch (2000)


Friday 20 May 2005

20.05.2005 How not to blog?

Truth be told I only realised today was the day when I was updating inventory records like I do at the end of each week. Holy crap! 20.05.2005! Never will a day like this appear again....until 20.06.2006. In the words of Neo, whoa!

116 couples are getting hitched today, the highest so far this year, surpassing the 107 couples who got married on 05.05.05. Yep, we Singaporeans always outdoing outselves when it comes to being number 1. But the record for largest number of weddings in a single day is still held by 14.02.1995. Apparently not only was it Velentine's Day, it was Yuan Xiao Jie, the Chinese Valentine's Day as well. A phenomenon only repeated every 20 years. Over 2,000 couples got married that fateful day. Anyone want to do a survey on how many of those couples are still couples 20 years from now? Must....be.....polite, no.....swearing.

But, much as I detest the kitschiness of it all, to each his/her own. Here's wishing the 232 of you blissful marriages, Trust is important but communication more so, because according to some survey from a few months back, most Singaporeans don't seem to be happy with their life partners. A staggering number, over 50% surveyed IIRC. There's something fundamentally scary about the implication that at least 1 of every 2 couples you meet on the street, among your friends and in your workplace are not happy with each other.

Of course, I could go on about the importance of communication in a relationship, I could say that the ability to engage your partner in conversation about anything without getting a "you want to break up with me/take a look at yourself in the mirror first" look is a sign of a healthy relationship and lah-dee-dah but that would just smack of being holier-than-thou right?

Anyways, EJ just blew past 2 weeks, she's
- exerting more control over where she wants the head, and consequently the eyes to go.
- staying awake for longer periods of time.
- letting her eyes roam around her view of vision when she is awake.
- showing signs of recognising her mummy and daddy. (debatable, but oh do we wish it were so)
- being more vocal, even though it's just short gasps of eh, uh, ehhhh.
- still kan cheong when it comes to feeding time, head just swaying all over the place when it's time to latch on, won't settle down on the nipple until she's satisfied there's nothing else around to latch on to.
- still a pretty good sleeper, wakes up at midnight and around 0400hrs for her feeds, like clockwork this one is. Fingers crossed it carries on.
- still gorgeous

Happy 20.05.2005 all!

Thursday 19 May 2005

Through the looking glass

President Josiah Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yes it does. Leviticus.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.
President Josiah Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.


[after Josh's therapy session with Stanley Keworth, Josh inquires why Leo is trying to help him]
Leo McGarry: This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey, you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up, "Father, I'm down in this hole. Can you help me out?" The priest writes a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey, Joe, it's me. Can you help me Out" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you nuts? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before - and I know the way out."


Representative Matthew Santos: Good Evening. I'm running for President. And if you don't know who I am, I wouldn't be surprised. I've been shut out of tomorrow night's debate for suggesting that it actually *be* a debate, and this is the only ad I can afford. I got in this to improve a broken school system; to fix entitlements, 'cause they're going bankrupt; to expand health coverage, 'cause it'll save money if fewer people show up in emergency rooms. What I've found is that Presidential campaigns aren't about these things. They're about clawing your opponent's eyes out, so long as you don't get tagged for it. So how 'bout this - I will never say anything about my opponents, or anything about anything - without saying it myself, right into the camera. You might not get to hear much of me but when you do, you'll know I stand by it. I'm Matt Santos. And you better believe I approved this ad.

Leo McGarry: [to Josh on Arnie Vinick running for President] You ever see Arnie Vinick campaign up close? He'll go into those high school gymnasiums in Iowa and New Hampshire and blow them all away. He'll shake every hand in the joint, kiss every baby, hug every widow on social security, and sound smarter and more honest than any Republican they've ever seen. Because he is.
- The West Wing (1999- )

Never mind the show's won the Emmy for Outstanding Drama Series 4 times in a row from 2000 to 2003, never mind it won 19 other Emmys awarded for the writers, actors and crew. Never mind it holds the record for most Emmys won by a series in a single season (9) which it accomplished in its first season on the air. Never mind The West Wing currently ranks 8th all-time in number of Emmy Awards won by a series.

I first stumbled on this gem of a TV series in it's first season, the stirring martial overtones of the theme song hooked me, the cast was superb, the dialogue was witty, intelligent and actually made you use your brain if you wanted to keep up. This show has singlehandedly taught me more about the American political system than any other source I know. Oh sure, the show's a little too idealistic for my liking sometimes (some people call it the Left Wing) and I admit I watch it to escape from the reality of our times (that's what's TV for innit?) but hey, the world's gone to hell in a handbasket, I'll take my jollies any way I can.

Aaron Sorkin left at the end of season 4 and some people thought that signaled the end for the show and for a while (season 5) it really did look that way. But John Wells seems to have picked up speed after getting comfortable with the ball. Season 6 was a ripper and I can't wait for season 7. Santos or Vinnick? I love the show to bits, it's a mirror into what could be and sometimes what should be. I'll save the DVDs for you EJ.

Bartlett for President!

P.S. Channel 5 is showing Season 5 on Sunday nights at 2300hrs, last episode I caught the season was coming to an end, I don't know if it already has. Pity the time slot is not a very social hour, we could do with more intelligent shows like this and The Shield, but that's another story.

Wednesday 18 May 2005

$11,413

That you'll be growing in a world where cameras have no film inside them.

You can rack up utilities bills to the tune of $11,413 and that no one will bother to ask if you know, need a little bit of help? A 60-year-old burned to death in his flat because he was using candles for light and a charcoal fire to cook food because they didn't have the moolah to pay the utilities bills. I'm especially mad at SingPower, you'd think someone would have a red flag up or something once you hit a ridiculous amount like 11 grand. And if community workers were aware of their situation, how could they not know of the 11,413 reasons why the flat was shrouded in semi-darkness everytime they visited? WTF.

Revenge of the Sith script (Warning! To say it's a spoiler would make understatement seem like an understatement)
I still think Hayden Christensen is too gay to play Anakin damnit! How could they kill Samuel L. Jackson, the man is Shaft for Pete's sake....arrrgh.
Enough to make you weep.

So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause....
- Padme (Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, 2005)

Saturday 14 May 2005

Snippet of life

1. Listening to The Choir of Trinity College, Cambridge sing, what else, a choral version of Sam Barber's Adagio for Strings.

2. Counting to see if I have 200 S$1 coins in my teddybear bank. Daddy needs a new Crumpler to carry EJ's barang when we go gai gai.

3. Feeling melancholic in the aftermath of doing a piece of work analyzing a pair of Romantic poems about childhood and juxtaposing that with the feelings I have for 11-day-old EJ.

Thy rosy cheek so soft and warm;
Thy pinky hand and dimpled arm;
Thy silken locks that scantily peep,
With gold-tipped ends, where circles deep
Around thy neck in harmless grace
So soft and sleekly hold their place,
Might harder hearts with kindness fill,
And gain our right good will

- 'A Mother to her Waking Infant', Joanna Baillie (1762-1851)

Dear Baby, that sleepest cradled by my side,
Whose gentle breathings, heard in this deep calm,
Fill up the interpersed vacancies
And momentary pauses of the thought!
My babe so beautiful! it thrills my heart
With tender gladness, thus to look at thee,

- 'Frost at Midnight', Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)

This poetry shit rawks dood.

Dining in tonight in the company of good friends and, depending on what they "ta-baoing", hopefully good food was well. Confinement food for mummy though, nyah nyah.









Life is good.

Friday 13 May 2005

Figures

Young men.

A foreign country.

An alien culture.

When will they ever learn?

Oh when will they ever learn?

Boggles the mind.

Thursday 12 May 2005

The more things change

I don't know about how it will be like when EJ grows up but for as long as I can remember Singapore's skyline has always been changing. The price of progress, but what cost that progress?

Lzydata posted an interesting talk to be held at SAFTI Library, would have loved to attend but whaddya know, work calls.

Daryl posted a followup on one Wing commander Tan Kay Hai that piqued my interest and a little digging prompted by some helpful nudges from his post got me here, there, everywhere and back.

Well geez Louise, we got us a genuine combat vet here, not some poor sod with a shotgun from Dalforce facing the battle hardened vets of the 5th or 18th Infantry Divisions or one of the Malay Regiment lads who died on Pasir Panjang Ridge when all around them the white men were falling over themselves falling back and looting. Here we got somewhere we can be not pai seh to put on a pedestal cos he didn't suffer a fate as ignominious as his brothers in arms in Dalforce or Pasir Panjang Ridge. To be sure, I take nothing away from Force 136, Elizabeth Choy and company, their experiences are more than worthy of just a passing mention but this man was different.

He had been around the block, seen the elephant, smelt the cordite. He wasn't running around in the darkness doing hit and runs, he was part of the Allied war machine. I mean come on, when was the last time you read about a chinese guy in the RAF in WWII? Wing Commander to boot, not some wet-behind-the-ears FO. AND they awarded him a DFC some more. This kind of thing they dun anyhow give one, it's not like you can get one if you queue overnight for it.

Orchard Shopping Centre, Paragon, Wisma Atria, these shopping centres had mid-life facelifts, sheet man, if these damn things could be given facelifts, why the hell was the National Library at Stamford demolished? Has anyone seen the monstrosity that is coming up between Bras Basah Complex and Bugis Junction? I don't care if it's internet ready, packed to the gills with fancy crap and can leap tall buildings in a single bound, it's ugly, period.

National Library
The new National Library

National Library - Stamford Road
The old National Library

This country of ours is 40 years old this year, that's about as old as EJ when you compare it with others, yet our economy is matured and counted among the First World. We've come so far in terms of material wealth yet we're still learning how to crawl when it comes to having a national identity.

The destruction of heritage buildings doesn't help us one bit, all around us the skyline keeps change every year. How does one stay rooted in a country that changes every year? Can you remember what the neighbourhood you grew up in looked like when you were a kid? 5, 10, 15, 20 years back? Things change so rapidly that there is no such thing as a familiar sight in Singapore anymore. I don't get that sense of revisiting a familiar old friend when I go back to my old neighbourhood, my primary school still exists but the building it occupies doesn't look anything like the old one, ditto for my secondary school. I'm lucky, some schools don't exist anywhere but in memories now.

Space is limited, that I can accept but there must be a way where the old can integrate with the new. Fewer friggin golf courses would be nice start, the ratio of land used vs number of users is atrocious, but then again, money talks pretty loudly here. Hawker centres become food courts, SERS. Heck, even Parliament House is brand new. The Supreme Courtnext change. How to anchor oneself when everything around you disappears after awhile?

There must be physical remainders like red-brick buildings and statues of Wing Commander Tan (somewhere on the grounds of SAFTI MI perhaps?) to remind us of where we come from, roots do not simply appear overnight, they have to have something to latch onto. The increasing globalization of the world we live in makes for very mobile citizens of the world. All cities tend to look alike if you live in them long enough. What incentive is there for Singaporeans to call Singapore home if we can't even recognise it?

Oh and in case you're reading this. Happy Birthday once again, words can't describe the place you have in my heart.

Tuesday 10 May 2005

Head Rush

The following post will be ugly, it will be verbal diarrhoea at it's finest as I have opted to put down everything I can remember in the order things pop up in my head. I had thought about being a little more understated about things but detail won out as i wanted to remember as much I could of this day.

3 May
We are up before the sun is, we grab all the stuff we're supposed to bring and are out the door in no time.

First stop was day surgery as we were the first case of the day and OT wasn't open that early in the morning, mummy got prepped while daddy tried to stand somewhere where he couldn't block people. Then it was off to OT to wait some more, mummy got wheeled in while daddy changed into scrubs (must....resist.....urge.....Nurse! Get 2 units of O neg into this guy and start an IV on that one, wide open...damn you, ER wannabe!!) and waited some more. Anesthetist comes in and shoots mummy up with happy juice (but not before almost rendering her unconscious with pain from repeated attempts at injecting lignocaine into the epidural space). It is lucky that daddy was sitting at OT reception cooling his heels at this point for it is almost certain daddy would not have stayed conscious if he had witnessed abovementioned prepping of mummy pain adverse pussy that he is.

Daddy gets called into the OR just as surgeon starts cutting mummy up to get to EJ. Again, being about as useful as an uncouscious surgeon teaching a class on quantum physics daddy wisely places himself in a corner where he won't trip anyone and witnesses the noisy ballet that is an OR. Yep, I said noisy, perhaps it was the nature of the op, but I always envisioned ORs to be temples of quiet where surgeons and nurses went about their jobs in a measured way, instead the scene was more like controlled pandemonium with the two surgeons going about their work while a nurse assisted them, the more senior of the two all the while giving the junior one pop quizzes on this procedure or that body part. Meanwhile, the anesthetist is monitoring mummy's vitals and giving instructions to up the rate of that drip or put in some more *insert unitelligible medical drip term here*.

The surgeons start putting some real pressure on mummy's tummy as they position EJ to come out of the 6 inch cresent shaped incision they have made just above the bikini line. Their movements are violent enough to rock mummy's body, picture if you will, a man standing over your wife, applying pressure very violently and animatedly at downwards from the top of her tummy while another man uses a pair of forceps to pull your child out. I wasn't standing at the business end of things cos I was giving mummy moral support but I do remember thinking it was all so surreal. Thinking back now, I filter out all the ambient noises and voices around me, I remember mummy smiling at me and giving me the "it's all right" look when they know their husbands are about to lose it, I remember the two surgeons pushing and pulling for all they were worth.

The next thing I know, a cry is heard above the suction noises coming out of mummy's tummy. The junior guy pulls out this tiny human being all covered in some grey mucus and hands it over to the midwife, who has until this point been in the background, with her are two med student docs/nurses who observe her every move while she starts EJ on the very first test of her life. A battery of initial tests to see if tiny human being has the reflexes expected of a normal human being is quickly completed. (9 out of a possible 10 score, yay! baby so crever! see! so smart! first test got 90%, can go RGS and then RJC and then among-the-world-best NUS already). The surgeons have by now started on sewing mummy up. A quick grasp of mummy's hand and a quietly mouthed "see you soon, love you" and daddy is following midwife and tiny human being out of OR.

EJ is taken out of OR to a delivery suite where her weight, height and head circumference measurements are taken and recorded so a run on these number combinations can be made by concerned relatives at the nearest TOTO outlet at the earliest possible inconvenience. A neonatologist comes in and gives her the once over, breathing is a little erratic but lungs have just started working so give her 15 minutes and she'll be fine. Daddy leaves EJ to go back to OT recovery to check on mummy who's looks good considering the circumstances. After a short wait in recovery, mum and dad proceed to move up to the neonatal ward where EJ follows shortly.

The rest of the week goes by in a blur of family and friends visiting, mummy breastfeeding EJ and a sudden influx of patients to the ward on 05/05/05, all caesarean cases. Make the inanity stop! As a side note, a record number (as compared to what I cannot remember) of marriages were also registered on 05/05/05 with an even higher number for a date just round the corner, 20/05/05. Don't you fools see that it takes more than a fancy number combination to make a marriage work or bring baby up??!? Were you stupid all your lives or did you have to really, really work at it? Make it stop, please, make it stop.....*whimpers*


Tuesday 3 May 2005

Here's looking at you kid

So many things I wanted to blog about, some interesting nuggets in the papers of the past week I wanted to share, but all that can wait. You will come into this world in a few short hours, last minute checks of the stuff we have to bring are being made as I type this. We have done all we can to prepare for this day. It's in your tiny little hands (and in the hands of our Friend above) now. Be seeing soon EJ.

Snapshot

Sunday 1 May 2005

Somebody stop me

Seeing as to how whoever was responsible for coming up with my Chinese name made a hash of it coupled with the fact that the in-laws didn't seem too up to speed in that department either AND how badly we wanted (well, ok I since the Mrs. has got a nice sounding cheenah name) a name we (ok, ok, I) and EJ could live with saw us making a beeline for Kinokuniya and Borders in a last minute frenzied attempt at finding said suitable Chinese name.

Enquiry faxes to the respective bookstores saw prompt replies from both parties, kudos to the backroom support. Kino has 2 of the books I was looking for, Borders another. It was supposed to be a short in and out kind of trip since we were rushing for a family lunch. You know, kind of like the surgical strikes that only exist in military planners' heads. Needless to say, the surgical strikes were anything but, more like indiscriminate carpet bombing (it's on target if it hits the ground).

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Bad boy, very bad boy, hands off the wallet next time we go book store or no more outings for you

Books on getting the most out of D-SLRs and the Iraq War were picked up in addition to the original targets. I've been a bad boy, a very bad boy, water and white bread for the rest of this month. I'll let you know which ones are winners and stinkers after I'm done with them.

This whole weekend is going up in smoke what with all the last minute prep and cleaning of the house in anticipation of adding 1 more to the population of this great nation of ours. Still, we did take some time to fulfill our obligations to a higher authority.

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