Grandparents

I can't remember much of my paternal grandmother. I remember the way she smelt, her typical ah-ma clothes, I remember her when she was sprightly, I remember her when she was frail, I remember her last days, I miss her dearly on the occasions I think about her. It seems I was one of her favourites, the feeling was mutual. She used to admonish people around the house not to speak too loudly when I was sleeping in the days after I was just born. People have told me I was the apple of her eye. It's a pity I couldn't speak Teochew fluently enough to carry on a conversation with her. Our conversations were almost always restricted to the obligatory greeting and "jia ba buey?" (Have you eaten yet?). I remember a time towards the end, when she seemed bitter at the world and people around her, my mum told me to sit with her and keep her company, so there she was, sitting alone with me, telling me things in Teochew that I desperately wanted to understand, I remember the sadness in her eyes. I can't remember what I told her but it probably wasn't something of much help. It's a private moment that's stayed with me all through the years. It pretty much sums up my relationship with her, so close, yet so far.

It is a given that most children have 2 full sets of grandparents when they are born, longer average life spans have made it possible for said grandparents to play a part in shaping the lives of their grandchildren well into their teens, sometimes into adulthood. I'm glad both sets of grandparents are around for EJ, I hope they will be around for EJ's siblings and cousins, I hope they'll be around for a long time. I'd like EJ to meet the people who spent their lives bringing her parents up. I'd like EJ to get to know them real well in the time she has with them for they have much to tell. I'd like her to remember and miss them when they have passed for I surely will.